Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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