jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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