It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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