I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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