he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?