Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
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Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
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Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties