RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
