About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
