Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
