hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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