did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
