If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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