I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
