If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
