we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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