We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
