i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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