I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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