I wish I could punch you in the face.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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