I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
