you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
