I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
What a dumb baby whore.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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