Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
