So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
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He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
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What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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