I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
