I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
