Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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