I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
