Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
