Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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