When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
you had me at cake vodka
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
