I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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