drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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