i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
