I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
