I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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