Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
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I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
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If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize