i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
