Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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