Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
