I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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