I look better un-naked...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
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you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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