yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My vagina just clenched in fear
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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