My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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