so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
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theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
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He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!