office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
