I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize