I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
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I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
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Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.