dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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