I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
