Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
