I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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