At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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