doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
