What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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