do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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