If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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