If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
whose parrot is this?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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