I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
