I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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