So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize