its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
