Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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