Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Panties = found
Randomize
