i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
