He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
