At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
