Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize