Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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