Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
