U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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