the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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