New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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