Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
